Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Bud Light's Big Shake-Up

Alissa Heinerscheid--currently on leave as marketing Vice President of Anheuser-Busch--explained in a recent podcast interview, “I had this super clear mandate: We need to evolve and elevate this incredibly iconic brand.” 

I don't know why Bud Light went into decline, but I can make an educated guess about why it formerly sold well: it offered the taste of beer with fewer calories. I assume the current market offers many alternatives to that desired goal. Heinerscheid's explanation (see her comments on the podcast; the Bud Light comments begin at 23:14) is that the brand had been sold on "fratty out of touch humor" and that "if we do not attract young drinkers" the "iconic brand" won't sell; she therefore wanted to sell it on "inclusivity." 

But that's not how things sell, unless "inclusivity" means all things to all peoples--and it doesn't. "Inclusivity" is about as controversial and difficult-to-define a term as "woke." 

A better way might have been to mount a campaign showing young people bonding over Bud Light--then using that to extend bonding in other areas. Instead, we got Dylan Mulvaney, trans influencer, whose "Days of Girlhood" portrayals of "my hiking heels" and of Eloise at the Plaza have nettled a number of viewers from a variety of political persuasions:


Dylan's quite the performer--her dance skills are extraordinary; her fey acting has a certain charm, although I always come away from her posts with the impression that she's deeply unhappy, despite all the money and style and attempts to look like a feminine fashion plate from the 1950s. The campy style itself suggests profound dissatisfaction. I think most trans persons who are happy with their lot want to get on with their lives, not be stared at. I get the need to make a bundle, but goodness, Dylan's made it.

The point is: her unhappiness comes through. In a commercial too. That's a number one reason for the failure of the commercial.

The second: people bond over what they already have in common--not over something making them feel uncertainty or discomfort. Or sometimes hatred.

A successful commercial might have shown young people bonding over the taste of Bud Light. Then, once that bond is secure, they bond over something else. The difficulty: all this must be accomplished in 48 seconds, if the Dylan Mulvaney spot is anything to go by. Silly me, I thought we had an entire 60 seconds!

So how about this: 30 seconds of lip-smacking over Bud light. Then 15 of a trans young man or woman walking in and saying, "Hey! Can I have some!" Then the critical next 3 seconds:

"Sure, Buddy!" says the top banana

"This is my bro, Tom!" says the second banana. Pop of can opening, sip, lip-smack. "He's trans."

"Great!" All three drink.

That might work. But whatever does work will have to start with what people already share--love of Bud Light in this case--not something that makes them feel unsure, or scared, or angry.

Saturday, April 15, 2023

Chicken Innards and Turnip Greens: a Fast, Delicious Stir-Fry

The spectacular weekly market in Chateauroux, France, boasts the freshest of young turnips sprouting vitamin-filled greens, gorgeous artichokes--gorgeous everything--fresh organically-fed chickens, cheeses, breads, croissants .  .  .extraordinary aromas. 

I got a chicken and some turnips I'm planning to make with polenta in a few days, but for lunch today I stir-fried the innards (including the neck) in a tablespoon of olive oil, salt, pepper and garlic powder. A single tip: soak all innards in milk for about half an hour; drain and rinse. This makes them taste better. I threw in the washed, chopped greens after the innards had been frying about a minute:


 I let everything fry, stirring occasionally, for about five minutes:


and then ate:


The chicken juices, salt and pepper gave the greens a great flavor. The neck wasn't edible, but almost everything else was. Simon the cat appreciated licking the remains.


Monday, April 10, 2023

The Tennessee Three: Keep them in the News!

Gloria Johnson, Justin Jones and Justin Pearson, the Tennessee three, who bullhorned their protest against guns, breaking the so-called "decorum" of the legislature, should be getting more coverage and more support.  

They haven't, in the wake of another story: classified documents showing up on social media.

We may not be able to do much about electronic invasions of national security, but we should support these brave three. They risked doing the right thing, preventing children, teachers, ordinary law-abiding citizens from falling victim to violent gun-owners. After the March 27, 2023 mass shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville, in which three nine-year-olds and three adults were killed, Johnson, Jones and Pearson protested, and members of the GOP compared their behavior to the January 6 attack on the capitol. 

Let's compare their behavior to the folks to whom King George the third (underestimating the colonists) thought he could give "a few bloody noses," but who fought bravely and established the United States of America. Support these three in their battle for gun control; they are the underdogs with the just cause, and it is long past time that America had what Europe routinely enjoys: gun control. 

 

P.S. Justin Jones is back in, yay! For some reason they're waiting til Wednesday to bring back Justin Pearson. Why the delay?  

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

A Poem for Our Times

Think acrostically. Happy to give you a hint.

Puzzle Poem: Find the Secret Message

 

Don't worry, he has to die sometime

Unless he's actually the devil

Maybe he is

Probably not, but maybe

 

Titanically narcissistic

Really they broke the mold on this guy

Underminer of the world, that's he!

Metastatically mean

Please, some God or Gods, evaporate him.

 

Saturday, April 1, 2023

My Censored Commentary on a Certain Former President Currently Under Indictment

Curiously, B*logger (as I shall call it) sent a message today indicating that I have crossed some particular boundary of theirs; the verb they used, which begins with "v" is a slightly old-fashioned synonym for "rape." The post was published back in 2017 when James Comey was still the director of the FBI. Punning on his name, I advised readers to do the following:

Make America Read Again
Make America Love Again
Make America Work Again
Make America Help Again
Make America Hope Again
Make America Honorable Again

and in my final lines, which rhymed, but which now won't, I advised readers to re-capture American honor by (here comes the part that now does not rhyme) disposing of a certain former president whose name starts with T. I used a verb beginning with D that rhymes. 

More than ever, I cherish the hope that this unnamed but notorious former POTUS will soon be wearing an orange uniform and spending his days behind bars.