Speculations on the Death of Ivana Trump

 

Back in 2017, Ivana Trump dissed Melania on ABC’s Good Morning America, saying, “she’s basically first Trump wife. I’m first lady.” Same dynamic as Diana and Camilla? For Diana, Camilla was “The Rottweiler,” and Camilla dismissed her as “Barbie.” Now, the Royals don’t murder people—that’s not their style, unless you believe Diana’s fatal car crash was engineered—a conspiracy theory long laid to rest. The Royals may have found Diana irritating, inconvenient, news-hogging, unforgivably glamorous, but they’re not Macbeth or Hamlet’s Uncle Claudius. For them, killing people is déclassé. Not sporting.

 

But Donald’s Trump’s style is “Murder most foul, as in the best it is;” he’s a gangster who stops at nothing. Would he go so far as to kill his children? Maybe he’s not Keyser Söze, the brutal drug lord in the 1995 noir thriller, The Usual Suspects, who murders his entire family in order to remain incognito and rich—but never forget, the character was based on a real man, John List, who shot his mother, wife and three children. Trump is mean enough and self-centered enough to kill literally anyone who might be a threat. Ivana knew plenty—she might just be the most recent in a series of American beauties allegedly killed by powerful men. Did the 73-year-old former wife of one of the world’s most powerful men really just happen to fall down the stairs in her own home? The latest speculation is a heart attack.

She had a history of violence with “The Donald,” who ripped out hunks of her hair and raped her, something she spoke of and then denied speaking of. If she knew stuff—and didn’t she always?—he’d go after her unless he were absolutely certain of her loyalty. A paranoid guy isn’t, ever. And she did say, “Darling, don’t get mad—get everything!” Maybe, in the end, that backfired. Maybe, in the end, he decided she was a risk. Dead women tell no tales.

 

Have I just invented a conspiracy theory? Are the feds out there dusting for DNA? Who knows? A five-second glance at the net names several undetectable poisons causing heart attacks. Arsenic and Old Lace. The Borgias. Brrrr. Convenient time to off a lady who might know more than Cassidy Hutchinson. But then again, even very fit 73-year-olds have heart attacks.