Thursday, September 12, 2019

Clueless and Keyless in Germany

Today I felt nostalgic for the hardware store around the corner from my New York apartment, where I can bring in a set of keys, get 'em copied less than ten, chat with the nice owner about house supplies, and zip home with that new set of keys. No muss, no fuss.
It's different here in the land of the careful, the correct, and the completely regulated. The guy down at the key place took the keys in his hand and wondered what Schloss (the word can mean either "castle" or "lock") they were for? I said those were our housekeys and he cast a bemused, suspicious eye in my direction. I could almost see the thoughts running through his head. Judging by his expression, I was possibly:
(1) A deranged stalker trying to get into my ex-boyfriend's home and murder his child's rabbit
(2) A thief or a spy
(3) A lunatic--because who ever needs keys copied?
Tentatively, I asked--since I hadn't completely understood his tirade--whether this was "wegen Gesetz," that is, something to do with law, or just not possible. He shook his head at me, this guy who looks like a miracle of efficiency in the shoe-repair and key business, who has actually repaired my shoes, but who now thinks I'm a vampire because I want some keys copied. But I persisted. Did he know anywhere where I might get these keys copied? Smoke puffed from his ears. His look: I had made an off-color remark.
I called my husband, who left a long message involving certificates needed and other bureaucratic matters, disquisitions on the shape of the key and how that affects the situation. Interpretations, anyone? Me, I think it has something to do with German notions of privacy, which must not be violated, if you want to stay alive, that is. Keys open doors, after all, and the German home is a fortress, with windows that roll down securely (none of these flappy windowshades, that flip up with the merest breeze!)
Someday, I will have another set of keys to my house--I did emphasize to the locksmith that I was talking about my very own house--but I will need German negotiations, probably through my husband, before I get them.

4 comments:

  1. OMG, how different daily life can be in Germany v. the US. I have lived in Manhattan for most of my life, and most items needed for daily life can be so simple to acquire here, especially with groceries and almost everything else that can be delivered to my door.

    My doormen and every other building employee is at my beck and call, as long as I tip them enough.

    Thank you Costco.com, Amazon.com, FreshDirect.com, and other wonderful delivery services. Even ALDI delivers, via Instacart.com. It is unusual for a local restaurant NOT to deliver, so two servings of Pho, or a couple of platters of gorgeous sushi and sashimi can arrive within an hour.

    I have travelled in Germany, albeit it many years ago, and remember shops closing early in the evening and all the time at the weekends, and no acceptance of credit cards. But they did have shrink-wrapped eels available for purchase at the local supermarkets.

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  2. Wow! Eels! Haven't seen them, but the local Edeka has fresh sushi now. They do roll up the sidewalks here early, and on weekends. Manhattan's different--the city that never sleeps. Thanks for commenting!

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  3. Did you ever discover why it's so hard to get keys copied? Guess no security systems, so keys really might let burglars in!

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  4. I do believe it's a national trait: everything must be regulated! My husband suggested I take the same set of keys but copied in a slightly different shape over to the same place. A different worker was there. "Hmmmm, well, one of them we can do for 11:20 euro, but the other would be about 28.50 including "Versand" cost--i.e. they have to send away for a part . . . . I'll try another key place.

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