But she didn't. Oh, how I wish Hillary Clinton had pulled out a wand, waved it, and quipped "Riddikulus!" when those hoptoads and vipers slimed out of his mouth. He was pouting so hard they could barely make their way past his big ole rat teeth, but they remain as determined as he and they sat, panting and stinking, at his feet, grinning out at the audience.
The worst, Madame Clinton, returns to laughter--if only you'd known to laugh. You got Puritan and rapped the bad boy on the wrist, and the bad boy flipped you with a jiu jitsu move.
I was glad you at least smiled. But then you wagged a finger instead of a wand--preacher instead of good witch--and told us to check facts.
Oh, the facts are so irrelevant. Personality is all. Show us your confidence by chuckling. Crack a joke or five. But don't lecture. To do so is to take him seriously.
I voted for you by absentee ballot on September 30 and I hope to goodness my ballot got there. I hope all the Americans abroad sent in their ballots already, and hope the ballots got to the Board of Elections.
Never said I was perfect,
Tic Tacs, grabbed girls
By the pussy, squeezed ‘em onna tits,
Kissed ‘em they love it!
They love me! Hey,
In the land of the freebies . . .
I’m so hot they can’t resist,
In the home of the brash . . .
I just can’t help it, ooh,
So sexy, ya know?
I’m a genius, I built
That city upon a hill
They’re lookin’ at us, kid, they are,
I’m a star, I got a better personality
Oh, say they can see
I moved on her like a bitch
I can do it—I’m rich:
Got a right to life, liberty, pursuit:
Says so right here.