Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Re-routing the Republican Candidate
Now, my friends, is the time for quiet persuasion. I am not the person to do this. I get hysterical and my voice squeaks when I mention the name of the Republican presidential candidate, and do not think I can be a particularly good influence in person. I did call my sanest cousin in the great state of North Carolina, much in danger of falling to the enemy, and she reassured me that she hated the guy--but then admitted: "I know folks who are voting for him." Their reasons? Can one talk about reasons when one is talking about teenagers who give birth to cocaine-addicted babies, bearded mountain men whose closest relationships are formed with wild turkeys, semi-literate roofers, folks who are generally down and out, whose next paycheck is not always secure, whose diet promotes high blood pressure and is washed down with too much corn whiskey? Folks who are ready to listen to anyone who says, "You're good. Get rid of _________________ (fill in the blank with the ethnicity or religion of your choice) and your life will be good." Call it populism, call it demagoguery, but those who think have to learn to speak in just the clear, simple style of the Republican presidential candidate--but to send messages of love and inclusiveness instead of the ones that he is sending. Churches, I call on you. Pastors, I call on you. Preach love now, preach hope now, preach "you can be good" now, before we all go down in flames. And let's re-route that toupée-flipping candidate back to the business world, where one hopes he will do less harm. Networks, news media: stop mentioning his name. He knows all news is publicity. Please. Just stop mentioning his name. Refer to him as "the candidate" if you must talk about him at all. The less you cover him, the better. Except in one area: whenever he can be made to look ridiculous--not outrageous or racist or narcissistic or impulsive or inarticulate, though he is all of the above--but really laughably ridiculous, and this is more than removing that awful toupée--then showcase this. Showcase what would make anyone, including his fans, laugh. Remember your Harry Potter: "Riddikulus!" and a wave of the wand, and the fear-indusing boggart vanishes. Think of the Republican candidate as someone to be laughed at. CNN, BBC, if you must say anything about him, and I'd rather you did not, you should be laughing at him.