Sunday, July 24, 2016

Breast Cancer: Chemotherapy Ten Side Effects They Won't Mention

You don't really want to read the medical side effects--trust me: what's left of your hair (now military) will march off all by itself--no need to scare it. 

But here's what they don't tell you

(1) You meet lots of nice bald ladies, who tell you about their side effects, or reassure you that you need not worry about the ones the doctors fear.

(2) The technie who hooks you up to the IV drip will have a poker face. You will ask, "After this, can I go home and cook dinner?"
"Sure," he will say, "If ya could cook before."

(3) When you think you're all done, he'll return with a hypodermic, the one you have to shove into your own belly. He's very careful. After he thinks you know what you're doing, he'll explain. Pointing to the ten drops in the hypodermic, he'll say, "If that breaks, it's 1700 euros."

(4) You won't mention that once half a drop sort of started oozing before you got the needle completely in.

(5)  You'll gain weight even while you feel nauseous. Unless you follow the Mom Belly Diet. Good thing I started that before my diagnosis.

(6)  Your tumor might seem larger before it seems smaller. You can make them measure it via ultrasound. They might tell you they're watching a different tumor--the one they expected to shrink. Which it is! They're so happy!

(7) But this tumor? The one that's bigger under my fingers? Wave of hand. That's just a lymph node. They're slicing that out anyway. Later, when you get your lumpectomy.

(8) You'll feel twenty-five years older than you did before you started chemo.

(9) Everyone will tell you this is temporary

(10) It isn't.  

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